What's the Deal?

If you're like me, you work a lot and it's in an environment where you aren't likely to meet anyone you'd like to date. Let's be honest though, you probably don't wanna date anyone you work with anyways because that's just asking for unnecessary drama in the office. You ask all your friends to set you up but they don't know any single guys, or any they feel confident in setting you up with. You try the grocery store route, but really, how many people met their spouse in the grocery store? You try church at the suggestion of your mother, and while I love me some Jesus, I don't really feel like going to church to meet a guy is why I should be at church. So, last resort, you join the lovely world of online dating and it is a HOT FREAKING MESS. Before I delve into any stories, let me just vent a little bit about the things I'm not a fan of when it comes to online dating.

•  Most of the guys (I know girls do it too) misrepresent themselves in one way or another. I've met up with guys who had 10 year old pictures, pictures they stole from a better looking friend, ones who have lied about their age which I thought was odd, ones that lied about their job/career and the one I hate the most, their height. Guys come on. I'm 5'7 and if you say that you're 5'9 only to show up and be the same height as me, something isn't right. I have not hit a growth spurt at 34 years old or forgotten that I was taller than I said I was. If most of the girls are like me, we really don't care about height but we do care about honesty. Own what the good Lord gave you and stop saying you're two inches taller than you say you are.
• Why can't I just say hey, hi or what's up when I first message you? I often see on guy's profiles that they won't message you back if you use something like that to start the conversation off. Really? When you hit on a girl in a bar do you have an entire creative paragraph thought up in your head of things to say to her about her likes/dislikes, interests, hobbies, job etc? Probably not because one, that would be weird if you already knew that much about her and two, who starts a conversation like that in real life? A simple hi is fine in person, a simple hi is fine online.   
• Did you seriously just message me to tell me that my current profession is coincidentally a fantasy you've had for a long time? Gross. This is almost a guaranteed un-match or block. Idgaf if you've always wanted to have sex with someone who does what I do, that is a not an appropriate way to start a message (see, this is where a simple hi comes in handy) and honestly, how many girls would say "Oh really? Well let me get naked for you and help you fulfill it!" None. Well, maybe some but you really probably shouldn't sleep with them if they're that eager to help you out. 
• No I will not come over to your house on a first date and "watch a movie". It's 2016, we all know what that is code for. Also, you don't know me and I don't know you. It's so not safe or smart to have someone over to your house that you've never met! I don't have violent tendencies but on the off chance that you run into a real life Lizzie Borden, I doubt you want her Netflix and chilling on your couch. 
• If you swipe right and we match, SAY HI! I don't mind saying hi first but seriously, if I message you, message me back. I'm not asking you to build a rocket, just answer me back. 
• To be continued....

Stay tuned for some fun stories and conversations!